Gifts To Be Recognized, Talents To Be Valued
Written By: Robert Batch
The first year of marriage is a year that is in someways hard to explain until actually experienced. I mean love is the same way. It is just hard to explain. This week I wanted to do something a little different and write a blog on something in marriage that is really overlooked and really needs to be considered...recognizing gifts and talents.
Expecting Nothing In Return
I think we can all agree that a gift of any kind is some thing that can be appreciated and valued. A gift is something to be recognized that comes from a person to another person expecting nothing in return or a refund for the money spent. Marriage is exactly that; a gift of a whole person that gives him or herself over to the other holding nothing back and expecting nothing in return. This is why marriage is so beautiful and should be cherished in the fullness of truth. St. Thomas Aquinas once defined love beautifully which I will propose can be one of two definitions for marriage:
To love is to will the good of the other as other - Thomas Aquinas
The Cathechism of the Catholic Church defines Marriage as the following
A Covenant or partnership of life between a man and woman, which is ordered to the well being of the spouses and to the procreation and upbringing of Children. (CCC 1601)
Let's be honest: life is a long time and alot can happen and be discovered in this time of life! However over a life time together as a married couple you begin to (hopefully sooner rather than later) recognize the various talents and other gifts that contribute greatly to the marriage...practical talents that are beneficial everyday (Note: These may not be tangible or visible gifts). Let me give you an example.
My wife Amanda has many talents and blessings that she personally brings forth to our marriage. One in particular is the gift of finances. She knows how to track and budget our financial life. For me personally, it stresses me out! This is a talent of Amanda's that contributes to the greater gift of marriage and adding additional blessings.
On the flip side my wife mentioned to me that I provide the gift of compassion and order within our marriage. I am creature of habit and rountine, and with our crazy busy life, Amanda appreciates the sense of order that has been established daily. She also added that my compassionate personality helps drive our ability to communicate about anything and everything.
It took me a while to recognize this talent in Amanda and even talents in myself that contribute to this great gift of marriage. As hard as it might be, I pray that you take the time to look for ways your spouse uses his or her talents for the greater good of the gift of Marriage. Here are some practical ways to do this:
#1) Express it!: Tell your spouse that he or she is good at a specific thing! (Whatever it might be)
#2) Respect it!: Meaning do not try and do that particular thing better than they do!
#3) Sanctify It!: Marriage is ultimately a journey towards heaven. Use your spouses gift (s) not only to get your spouse to heaven but to get both of you to heaven and ultimately to be saints.
About The Author
Robert Batch holds a degree in Communications with a Minor in Theology from Franciscan University of Steubenville, and is currently pursuing a M.A. in Theology online through Franciscan. He has a passion for speaking, lecturing, and teaching about the faith. He currently resides in Southern California with his wife Amanda, and daughter Cecilia